How can i approach this situation with my husband?

does the VA offer counseling? it sounds like he may be in a depression. until you work through that, it can be difficult to get anything done. it's counter productive to tell him what to do, or even suggest it. be supportive of what he does toward becoming more productive and financially supportive of the family. if he says he's buying a dress shirt today at the mall, complement him. if he wants to take a class that he feels leads to employment, likewise, give him props. but encourage him to enter counseling. go with him if necessary - marriage counseling. tell him you need the help emotionally and need his support. you'll get there. be patient. the econ is horrible and many fams are in the same position.